This hilarious USA men’s basketball team is only getting funnier as the days roll on in Rio. During a practice, DeAndre Jordan and Jimmy Butler tried explaining which women’s team players they have the most similarities with, and it turned into a minute of them just poking fun at each other.
Here’s a transcript of the banter:
JB: “I wanna be like Sue Bird.”
DJ: “I wanna be like Elena (Delle Donne).”
JB: “You don’t got her type of game.”
DJ: “But I want to be like her. I wanna be like that.”
JB: “But you don’t fit her game at all.”
DJ: “But I want to be like that.”
JB: “But no.”
DJ: “I could try.”
JB: “I could actually be Sue (exaggerates no-look pass motions).”
DJ: “But you don’t pass.”
JB: “I do pass. I’m just not used to throwing lobs, but I pass.”
DJ: “I could be like Elena. She’s gotta teach me some of her moves. She’s nice.”
JB: “You’re more like Breanna Stewart.”
DJ: “I’ll take that.”
JB: “Nah, nevermind. I don’t want you to be like her either. You’re like Brittney (Griner).”
DJ: “Nah, I want to play on the wing.”
JB: “SHE DUNKS.”
DJ: “I do that already.”
JB: “We know that you want to play on the wing. That’s why I’m saying you can’t play. You don’t got no crossovers.”
Butler and Jordan go back-and-forth with such ease. They could have their own TV show or podcast and it’d be great. Another thing: Who knew that Jordan — the high-flying alley-oop machine — wanted to play on the wing so badly?
Kyrie Irving also talked about the US women’s team, but he was more serious about it.